Apparently I just can’t learn my lesson, I have been stood up yet again by the same guy, who has stood me up 4 times in a row. I even made it known to him that I really really hate having to chase up plans that have already been made and all I get in response is ok. Really over getting screwed around and people playing games. Maybe one day I will learn.
Lately I’ve been feeling like crap and have no motivation. But I think it goes deeper then just feeling like crap or being sick. I’m 25 and when I look back on my life I realise that I have accomplished absolutely jack all.
All I ever wanted was to do something meaningful in my life whether that was helping others in the gblt community, raising awareness, entertaining people or just owning my own business.
I am jobless and living in a share house I hate. I have no savings, half a dozen health concerns I am still to get checked out by a doctor, and let’s be honest I have no real job or love prospects.
Yeah I feel like crap and feel that nothing I ever do will be worth anything in this life. I trying so god damned hard to find a job finish my study and help others yet I still seem to get nowhere.
I’m not writing this for sympathy I merely writing down the thoughts that have been plaguing me of late. I expect no one to fix my life for me. It is my job and responsibility and mine alone. I don’t know what I’m going on about just simply typing.
I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong.
“It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Fucking Deathwish, Mom”
“I Never Told You What I Do for a Living, Mom”
“This Is How I Disappear, Mom”
welcome to the black parade, mom.
(I might just…